Posted by: heisourstrongtower | June 4, 2012

Not My Expectations, But His

Psalm 119:91 – They continue this day according to Your ordinances, For all are Your servants.

Do you find yourself blocking the message because of the messenger?  I admit that I have found myself doing this lately, even though I know it’s a message He wants me to hear.  I want nothing to do with the message because His emissary has disappointed me and hurt my feelings, because she fell short of my expectations.

I have a friend who shared with me a story recently about a disappointing mentoring experience she had and how careful we need to be with who we allow to feed us God’s truth and who we allow to hold us accountable.  I am looking at her situation with new eyes today because I have recently been disappointed by someone who I thought was supposed to be a Godly role model for me to follow.  The problem with this situation is, it was strictly implied on my part and I really am not even sure that she realized she was being viewed by me in this capacity.

Time after time I watched this woman make commitments and then, in my mind, break those commitments.  I was observing this happening in all areas of her life and in my mind it seemed to be a very easy thing for her to do.  It did not seem to bother her or cause her distress and sometimes when she broke a commitment it fell upon others to complete what she had committed to doing.

I was and I am having a difficult time reconciling the new image I have of this woman with the role I felt she was to play in my life.  I learned some valuable lessons from God through this and I want to share them with you.  One of the first things I learned through this is not to place unwarranted expectations unto others.  There was never an understanding or agreement reached between the two of us that she was going to fill this role in my life.  It was a conclusion I reached on my own and I never really communicated these thoughts with her.  Always make sure your mentor(s) are aware that you are looking to them for guidance…it will save you both heartache in the end.

Jesus and the life He led here on earth is the ultimate example for all of us to follow.  His life was sin-free and there are plenty of examples in the Bible to go to for direction.  At times of confusion…look to Jesus, He will not steer you wrong.  People will usually disappoint you and reality check here people…you will find yourself disappointing others too.

People are always watching you especially when you are putting yourself out there in any form of ministry.  I truly believe that if I commit to something, if anything happens that changes that commitment; I need to offer an explanation and an apology to anyone that is affected by my decision.  I should always do my best to see my commitments through to completion and only commit to those things that God has brought me to.  If He brought me to it, He will equip me through it…to its conclusion.

I think that maybe the most important lesson God is trying to teach me through this is that I don’t have to understand why other people do the things they do.  They do not owe me anything…everything they do, in a ministry capacity or in any capacity, is for His honor and glory.  I do not walk their journey and they do not walk mine…we walk our own according to His will for each of our lives.  So maybe I need to filter the message not the messenger through God and if it lines up with His word; then accept His message through whatever means He finds acceptable.  He has the Last Word…in all things.



  1. Patti, that is a lesson I had to learn, too. I was always trying to analyze why people did what they did; over analyze in fact. The Holy Spirit had to teach me that I didn’t need to understand why everyone did what they did. AND the truth is a lot of time, they don’t even realize what they are doing. Every snide remark is not always directed at the person they say it to. Sometimes they have so much anger/hurt/pain in their heart that spills out onto everyone. Sometimes it is very personal. I have had to learn when to let it completely go, when to analyze, and when to stop analyzing. What I have also learned is when someone shows you who they are believe them.

  2. Thanks for sharing this because you brought me new insight into this situation. I thought I had gotten passed analyzing people and circumstances, but I guess I am still walking that fine line. Although I don’t think it is a bad idea to be observant and watch how people walk their faith, especially in a ministry capacity. It also makes me more aware of the fact that I need to mean what I say and say what I mean. Thanks for sharing this comment with me. I am so glad that God brought you into my circle of faith friends. ❤ ❤

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